Sorry I haven’t blogged lately.  My computer hasn’t let me on wordpress these past several days.  Thanks to all those who sent messages.  I promise I will blog soon about the goings on of my life.  Which, by the way, has been a lot of stuff.  Hope you are having a good week.  I’ve also attached some new Halloween funnies.

haha…this is quite true

After-hours — where you go when the bars are closed and you still haven’t found someone to sleep with.

Baggage — the excuse people use to punish their current boyfriends for things that their past boyfriends have done to them.

Bicurious — gay

Bisexual — gay

Bitter — what all gay men are destined to become. Caused by drama and stress (see below).

Bottom — orientation preferred by 95% of the gay population

Butch — what gay men who don’t think they act gay call themselves. Actual butch men will never need to use this term.

Cuddle — sexual activity in which there is no exchange of bodily fluid.

Drama — an imaginary condition made up by sad, lonely individuals with no real problems in their life who feel the need to drag stable, well-balanced individuals who are trying to make a valuable contribution to society down to their level in hopes of making themselves feel better.

Ex — 1) anyone you’ve slept with more than once.
2) a club drug popular in the late 90’s.

Excedrin — what every gay man should have in his medicine cabinet.

Expiration Dating – Frequent hot sex with someone you know is only in town for a short period of time, and that you know you have no chance of actually dating seriously because they aren’t local.

Gaylights — an unnatural highlighting of the hair that no straight man would be caught dead with.

Gurl — the first word of every sentence. “Gurl, you ’bout ready to go?” or “Gurl, I haven’t had sex in 3 days!”

Gym Bunny — a troll who has realized that his only chance of getting laid is to work out every day.

Hayyy — a greeting. The gayer you are, the more Y’s you put at the end.

Homewrecker — the person who stole your ex

Omaha Diet — unnatural weight loss caused by nonprescription medications. Also known as Jenny Crank.

One Night Stand — a very short-term relationship, the end of which is signified by someone putting on their pants.

Philson Sex — sexual activity in which everybody wants to get off, but nobody does. Enables you to have a one night stand without actually becoming classified as a whore, yet still significantly more intensive than cuddling.

Rough Trade — a one night stand that you will later pretend never happened.

Shot — when you need to get drunker faster

Stress — a non-imaginary condition brought on by the drama of others

Top — see Bottom

Trade — what you bring home from the bar, paid for in services rendered.

Troll – anyone older than you that wants you to go home with them.

Trick — See Trade

Twelve — how old you are if you’re not 21

Universe — the area of space contained within a three-foot diameter of every gay man.

Versatile — glorified Bottom (but will top if absolutely necessary)

A friend sent this to me, and it is hilarious.. I wonder sometimes if this is what society really thinks.. LoL

Attention All Heterosexual Men!

Drag Queen make-up tips!
How to have sex with a man WITHOUT the six pack of beer!
How to decorate with frills and throw pillows to brighten up any room!
Essential Madonna and Cher records to own
That tongue trick invented circa 1978 in some alley in NYC
Ricky Martin’s fan club address

Style and grooming tips NO self respecting gay would be without (hope you’re not too attached to that uni-brow)
How to wear a G-string with poise and dignity (we’ll insert a few bucks to get you started)
Finger-snapping lessons, and a dialect coach to assist in “gaylingo”

Learn important historical dates, like: the year Donna Summer won her first Grammy, Barbra’s wedding anniversary, and the day Judy died!

ACT NOW AND YOU’LL RECEIVE A GOLD-PLATED CLOSET DOOR HINGE TO SYMBOLIZE YOUR FREEDOM!

Don’t delay any longer! Do you want to have more women hanging off you than when you were straight? Aren’t you tired of the snickers whenever you walk into a room?

Call 1-800-976-HOMO to BEGIN YOUR LIFE AS A FABULOUS FAG!!!

Call today. Operators are standing by . . . . . And they’ll tell you this is just a joke!

Since it was the first day of October.  I thought I would put some Halloween pictures that would make you smile.

Happy Wednesday!!

Sorry I haven’t put anything on my blog the past few days.  SUPER BUSY!!  There’s not a shortage of things to do here at Ashley. Today, I’m trying to reorganize my file room.  Everybody and their brother goes in there and mess it up and with me being a Virgo it just erks the ever living mess out of me. 

I would like to extend my congratulations to my 1^st cousin and his wife, Nick & Katylin on the birth of their new baby girl, Maddolyn Kate “Maddy”.  She was born last night at 8:45 p.m.  She weighed 8 lbs and 2 oz.  My grandmother told me this morning that she is the female version of my cousin Nick.  That is just what the world needs a FEMALE version of Nick.  LOL 

Also, I want to congratulate my sister Ashley and my new brother-in-law Jeff on their marriage.  It was a wonderful wedding.  It was set outdoors in a fall color motif.  I was holding up pretty good until my sister Ashley started crying at the unity candle and of course that my mother, grandmother, & my aunts start crying and I just couldn’t control it.  My sister was one of the most beautiful brides I have ever seen.  I hope they have a wonderful marriage and that it lasts a lifetime.  Below are some pictures from the wedding. 

Well, the 1^st Presidential debate was last Friday and I believe that it went pretty good.  I think both of them done a good job, but I also believe that Barack done a slightly better job.  I think he could have done some things different, but I think in the next two debates he will make up for the performance Friday.  I saw on CNN this morning where the debate did not make any difference in the polls.  On CNN.com, poll of polls, Barack is still leading by 5 points.  I’m quite surprised at that.  I figured with all this financial mess that we’ve had the past week, that it would be a bigger gap than that.  I believe Barack’s plan would be more beneficial than McCain’s plan.  It will help out more of the middle class.  By the way, did you notice that the entire night McCain did not even mention the “middle class” not one time in the debate. I’m not surprised because him or Palin don’t care about the common person.  As for this HUGE, MANUFACTURED financial mess that we are in because of the de-regulation by the Republicans of Wall Street & banking industry,  I think if we don’t do anything that it will get a lot worse.  I believe that if we don’t’ do anything that millions of Americans will loose everything that they put in their 401Ks.  I don’t think it would take 700 billion dollars to do that, but Bush is wanting to make sure that his Wall Street CEO buddies are going to get paid.  I think everything that the Senate will be voting on later in the evening is a step in the right direction.  For instance, raising the FDIC insurance from $100,000 to $250,000 and lowering the alternative minimum tax, but I believe that more can be done.  I’ve still got hope that the United States can pull out of this unseemly mess. 

On a lighter note, my weekend was good.  I didn’t do a whole lot.  Friday, I just stayed at home.  On Saturday, I went to my sister’s wedding & went over to my cousin Nick’s house to play washers.  Sunday, I went to town to buy some groceries & actually went to church with my grandparents.  It was pretty dog gone good. 

Well, the week is half over.  Tonight I’m going to help a couple of my friends move.  Two weeks ago they put their house on the market and they sold it in three days.  So I’m going to help them pack up and move tonight and tomorrow.  Then on Friday, help them unpack at their new house. 

Well, I guess I need to get off of here and get some work done.  Hope y’all all had a great Wednesday and have a great rest of the week.  Love ya all.

Take care!!